jmcgregor

So, I weighed myself earlier and so far I’ve lost 91lbs. I must admit, I’m amazed because I’ve been going through so much these last few months, my ex is still making life hard for me but I am now pretty much over her and sort of glad to not be with her after everything she did, even before the big fiasco at the end. Anyway, it’s not about her the fact is I’m proud I didn’t go back to comfort eating which was probably my biggest problem. When I was sad the only thing that took my mind off things and made me content was eating. I’m glad to say I don’t need to to do that anymore.

I’m dealing with a lot of my other problems too that came with weight gain. My depression is slacking off, though I still feel it. My social phobia is what is holding me back, that and my severe lack of confidence within myself. I’m sure it will all build as time goes on but it’s hard feeling lonely and then even harder when around people. It’s a horrible situation. I’ve got an appointment at the gym on Thursday too so now I can start proper exercises and hopefully lose more weight.

So to keep it short and sweet, I’m getting better and to anyone who is going through dark times with regards to their weight, there is hope, I had all but resigned myself to being and possibly dying at the weight I was, if not heavier but I’ve managed to do something about it, even though when all my hopes had gone. Something kept me going and I’m doing great. If I can do it, anyone can, no matter how hard it seems.

Looking at my before and after pictures I still feel as ugly and rather unchanged but I know the scales havn’t been lying to me as I now fit into my old clothes!

Hope you all are well, and best of luck in what you are doing.

Hello everyone,

I actually opened a thread on the forum, in the Weight-Loss Diary section thinking it would have been a somewhat active place that I could receive comments and motivation on my progress and of course speak about anything on my mind. Unfortunatly it was not really what i expected and I think I will just stick with blog posts.

So after my last weigh-in on 5th July my total weight loss so far is 56lbs. I’m happy with that, it’s nearly one third of what I need to lose to be at my ideal weight. Though, there are some things I am concerned about which I wanted to write about in this blog post.

Firstly, my well balanced diet with 5 fruits and veg per day has gone. For instance, today all I had to eat was my dinner (2 veggie fingers at combined cals of 110, on a burger bun with lettuce, cucumber and red onion with a few potato wedges and pickled onions at the side) and2 slices of brown bread toast with a cup of tea before bed. I think I’m starting to under eat again, the type of under eating which lost me 5lbs in 3 days. Yeah, sure, any dieter would marvel at losing that kind of weight in that space of time but I know it isn’t healthy and I don’t want my body to start burning muscle for energy.

Secondly, I am worried about my lack of exercise. My friends have stopped playing football now and that was my only outlet for physical exercise. I am too self-concious and still suffer from socialphobia which stops me going to a gym or out for a jog. The reality for me is I know if I don’t exercise properly I will end up with saggy skin due to the amount of weight I need to lose. Also, I have great(not to blow my own trumpet) calf muscles due to years of playing football and I don’t want to lose them, or any muscles due to my body resorting to burning them for energy. I am still pretty naive about certain exercises, I don’t know where to start or what to do… I want to exercise, preferably ones which I can in my own home and will tighten me up a bit to reduce sagging skin in the future, it really scares me.

Lastly, I am STILL waiting to see a dietician for nutritional and dietary advice, that has been quite a few months now. My doctor also referred me to a weight management centre who recently told me to call for an appointment but they have yet to give me one. Furthermore I am still waiting for the dermatologists to get back to me to treat my fingers and I have also missed around 3 psychologist meetings which was not my fault so I will have to make a new appointment for there too!

All in all though, things are going ok. If you have read my earlier blogs you’d realise I’d lost all hope and my life was in turmoil. Things seem to be getting better for the first time in years and I hope it continues. I want to regain my life, my confidence, my right to live like everyone else without feeling out of place.

Hope you all are well.

Thanks for reading.

Ps. I wrote this straight out of my heart so some of it might not make sense, but I hope it does.

Hi everyone.

I borrowed a set of digital scales from my children’s mother and I used them today. It’s been 2 weeks and 2 days since my last weig-in at the hospital. So I step on them a few times to get an accurate result, and all times it said 308lbs, a 7lb loss since the last weigh-in. Thing is I am not quite sure how good that is in terms of weight loss, I’m not sure if I should be losing more?

I have a hold on my diet now, I get up and have cereal with a glass of 100% orange or apple juice. I drink water the rest of the day and have fruit to go towards my 5-a-day(usually not until after dinner though), I then have my dinner which is usually 2 forms of vegetable with pasta or potato. That’s all, no crisps, no sweets, no fizzy juice. I’ve done my best to get in a ‘healthy’ diet whilst waiting to see a nutritionist. Also, I have been playing football(soccer) most days for over an hour each session, I have also been trying to incorporate more exercise too.

With all that things seem to be going well but I am just not sure how much weight loss I should be aiming for every 2weeks.

Would be nice to hear from you guys. Thank you.

Well, it’s been over a month since my last blog here. Heres whats been going on.

After the whole break-up thing it took me more than a month to get my head straight and stop craving for my ex. However…. After it sunk into me that we where split she ‘let her defences down’ and wanted me back. It was a tricky situation as I needed to see my kids everyday or two so I had to be in her company saying how much she wants me back etc. I did say to her that I would not get back with her while she has those controlling and destructive problems which pretty much made me go into depression before. Though after a week or two I slowly let her back into my heart which took alot for me to do considering what had went on, but now that I let her back into my heart she’s saying we should probably just be friends (after weeks of attention craving, which she got). So my head has been messed with again. I have those feelings again that I want to be near her but know I shouldn’t, it’s very frustrating and hurting and took a while to go away before.

Apart from that I havn’t managed a weigh-in but I have been eating better and been getting a bit of excerise and have had some comments that I look like I’m losing weight. I’m happy in that regard but I want to do more in the form of exercise, I’m going to try and play football again and maybe do some walking while listening to music.

My diet is still unbalanced but I do take less than 1k calories per day which I was told to do so I guess that’s going decently. Hopefully I’ll have some good news for you people in my next blog.

Take care..

Ps. Hopefully this makes sense :p

Thing is, I’m having trouble getting to sleep at night. On average I get to bed at around 5am, because of this I miss breakfast so the first meal I have is lunch.

I have been told you should eat 4 times per day at a total of less than 1000 calories(instructed to do so to lose weight). Now if I only have Weetabix for lunch and then have a low fat, low cal dinner and maybe another bowl of weetabix or fruit at night would it be causing me any harm? I’m no trying to like starve myself or anything but unless I can get into a routine I wont be able to follow the 4 times per day routine.

Is this good or bad?