A Gastric operation is looking like my only hope…
I am struggling with what I should write in this blog post, I’m not one who is easily short of words but a combination of feeling down, scared, worthless and downright ashamed seemed to have sucked my vocabulary dry…
The biggest problem I have is, I eat when I am unhappy. With the life I lead and with certain people within my life constantly making me feel unhappy, it really does make this problem more of a permanent factor than a temporary issue. I have every intention to lose the weight I’ve gained, for me and my kids. I don’t want them growing up being ashamed of me, watching while other Dads run around playing games, while I sit watching from a bench…
It’s so hard even planning a diet, I don’t eat meat, I don’t eat fish. I do love vegetables though, potatoes, carrots, peas, beans, lettuce etc but unfortunately, the most filling out of them (potato) usually involves it being deep fried and cut into sticks. I live in a household where the only home-cooked meals are at Christmas time and even then I have pre-prepared vegetable pakora, so it’s really hard to plan and actually prepare a proper diet, I don’t know where to begin.
This is why I don’t go on buddyslim much anymore, I’m embarrassed to be around people who have put their heart and soles into losing weight, people who have taken their lives back by being able to lose weight, while I can’t due to not being able to be happy or in a good mind state to keep it going. That is why it has gotten to the point where I think I should be put forward for surgery, I need my life back and with the life I live it seems impossible to do by my will alone.
Sorry if this blog was pointless(or made no sense) I just needed to write some of my feelings down.
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I’m so sorry you are feeling down. Don’t feel alone because alot of us feel exactly the way you do at times.
You should never be embarrassed to come to BuddySlim….no matter how many times you might stumble, we’ll help you back up
If you only knew how many times I’ve started and failed, but I’m here today and not going anywhere until I reach my goals 
Its good therapy to blog and tell us your feelings…we won’t judge or critize you, just try to support you and help you along ok?
I’m not too familiar with gastric bypass, but I’m sure many here are. I Know you will make the choice which is right for you.
Always remember one thing, if you continue to come to BuddySlim, you will make friends and your support system will continue to grow!!! Before you know it you will be working hard on your goals!!! Heres a big hug to get started
I have not been on buddyslim liek I used to be, time with my wedding planning, I just don’t have it, but I am sooo sad to see this blog. You should never not what to come on here, i can only speak for my experience but the people on here are great and really supportive. Hell we kinda have to be we are all dealing with the same issue!! OUR WEIGHT!!!
I jsut felt compelled to say soemthing,a dn I am sure I will get hate emails, but your blog scared me a little bit. i don’t kwno if you ahev followed any of Carney Wilson’s progress, btu she has gained alot of her weight back! I jsut saw that you were thinkign gastric bypass was your last resort, but I hope you really think long and hard on that. I am not by any means against the surgery, I think ti does help alot of people, btu I am a firm beleiver that until we all deal with our real issues and reasons why we are here, we can not be healthy!! I mena more I guess on a mental level.
if youa re an emotional eater, which form your blog it seems you are, those issues may still be there and yes you could have the surgery and loose weight, btu you are soo young, over a lifespan it could come back, if you don’t deal with the issues of why you eat. I am struggling witht he same thing myself. i ahev lost over 100 pounds, btu I am still dealign with the issues of why i put the weight on, and why i turned to cakes and pies in my low times instead of the peopel in my life. I will pray for you, and you need to make the right descision for your life!! and only you can do that!!
BEST of luck to you, in whatever you decide to do.and remeber WE are all int his together!!!
Hey you and me are different in so many ways, but so alike in others. I’m an emotional eater too. I eat when I’m bored, when I’m cross, when I’m upset, when I’m happy. I joined this site over a month ago…lost 5lbs and now I’ve regained it all again and have to start from scratch.
You are not alone my friend.
Yes, Amen, Jane and Toni!! The only thing i would add is….
PEOPLE can’t MAKE you unhappy.
Happiness and unhappiness is a choice and it doesn’t have much to do with our surroundings but it has every thing to do with our state of mind. Choose to BE happy, regardless of circumstances or people around you. Look at your children and see how quickly they can go from unhappy to happy just by what they are thinking about or playing with.
We are all here for you, especially if you can’t find support anywhere else, this site is the best place to come.
Praying for you.
Your blog really touched my heart. Loosing weight expecially when it is tied to an emotional issue is damn hard! If it were easy I’m sure we wouldn’t all be on this site LOL. I agree with everything these ladies have said above. The only thing I would add is that no one, no matter how determined can’t do this without the right tools. Some people find they have always had them, others find them easily enough but some (and from your blog I’m guessing like you) don’t even know where to look. I would suggest going to your doctor and demanding to see a dietitian. Someone who can walk you through the overwhelming amount of information and help you make a plan not a “diet” because your in this for the long haul and you need to make permanent changes ones specially designed for your body and lifestyle. Once you have the game plan in hand you can start to think about ways of figuring out the why. Perhaps even talking to a professional about the emotional eating and what may have caused it.
Remember no one on here is perfect but we all welcome each other despite our differences embrace each others challenges and encourage each other with all our hearts.
Best of luck. I believe in you!
Your blog made a lot of sense. Just remember that having surgery will not solve your eating if you don’t get to the root of the problem first. I know about this firt hand with someone very close to me that had weight loss surgery. It is not the eating that we have to change first to be successful, it is our struggles, troubles, moods. It is a totally mental thing and we have to work on that so much harder. I wish you luck in anthing that you choose.
Sorry to hear that life is filled with more downs than ups for you right now and that it seems like that won’t be changing. Please always come here and write and try your best not to give up on yourself or on happiness. make sure you talk to your family doc about the unhappiness and see if you can get some good support. everything is more difficult when depression is around! sounds like your kids are an incentive for you - i hope you are an incentive for yourself, too! i’m a vegetarian and although most people think we’re all healthy ther eare som many ways not to be! start adding in more lentils and beans and tofu for protein and that will fill you up more than the potatoes. also, the proteins help stabilize the mood better. if you like Indian food (you mentioned pakoras) try getting the dal (lentils) for great protein. just start small. i started taking Omega 3 supplements recently b/c vegetarians are usually lacking in this and there is a link to mood as well. That plus Folate and the B vitamins - so get a good multi plus the Omega3s. And, please listen to Jane and Toni!
We’re all here b/c this is rough.
hey buddy,
surgery is not the answer. i, too, may get hate mail, but before i worked as an orthopaedic nurse, i was a scrub nurse in the operating room. 100% of the people that i know that had lap banding surgery are the same weight, if not heavier, than before the surgery. it is a temporary fix. the gastric bypass surgery is a HUGE surgery. many people have complications, including death, wound issues, malnutrition issues, etc. i only tell you this because i want you to know the truth about these surgeries. yes, there are positive outcomes for some but the majority are negative. i will tell you that people that lose weight like that have tons of hanging, unsightly skin from losing weight too fast. they have more surgery to have that corrected- so once again, more wounds, more complications, more scar tissue. it’s not good. i noticed on the biggest loser that those people are morbidly obese. they work hard eating right and exercising and don’t have the hanging skin. they have very little, anyhow. i’m an emotional eater as well. i eat when i’m upset, i even eat when i’m happy because i feel like celebrating =) you have to make a choice–which is so much easier said than done. you CAN do this. you are so young. don’t let this kill your spirit. are you working out at all? i have totally found that when i’ve forced myself to work out for a couple of days in a row, that i start feeling better mentally and it kicks into a cycle of healthy eating and more intense workouts. don’t give up and give in to the quick fix mentality of the surgery. it’s so not worth it. it doesn’t solve the problem of why you overeat. that is why so many people gain their weight back after the surgeries. instead of going for the quick fix, go for the long term. decide to make a healthy lifestyle change. take the advice from the other vegetarians. they have good suggestions. do small steps, like, walking down the street and eliminating one thing from your diet for the day. take little steps and before you know it, you’ll be where you want to be, physically and mentally. good luck.